Le tourbillon de la vie – ‘the whirl of life’ 

It all started in September 2019 when my dad passed away. My dad wasn’t sick, he had a moto accident one Friday afternoon, on his way home. He usually was off on Friday afternoon, but that day, like most Fridays, he decided to stay at work a little longer and do some accounting. He died on the 6th of September. This week is and will always be heavy for my family because my grandmother died on the 5^th of September, that same exact week. There was no preparation to what happened: life hitting you in the face, just like that. 

It took me 1.5 years to get my head above water, to feel alive again. I felt grey, damaged, empty as if someone sucked the energy and the colors out of me. During this one year and a half, I read a lot about after-life and how to continue communicating with our loved ones who transitioned. It is true that time heals, you just have to go through every step of your grief, and eventually one day, you start to be able to talk about them without crying, and you realize how far you’ve come. Of course, time doesn’t take the pain away, but you to learn to live with it and to put things in perspective. I lost my dad when I was 31 years old, and it doesn’t feel great to think that he won’t be there when I get married or that he won’t be able to play with my kids. But I did have the best dad in the world for 31 years and I cherish this time spent with him and all the love I received. 

Even if time heals and even if I was doing better, I still felt like someone had taken him away from me without any possibility to say goodbye. I would have given anything to talk to him again or to take him into my arms. One of my best friends who lost her loved ones had told me about this medium in France called Bruno who has the capability to pass on messages from persons who passed away and transitioned. He is pretty well-known and has met with many people to help them communicate with people they lost. I had watched all of his Youtube videos and after months of waiting (and Covid shaking everyone’s calendar), I finally got an appointment with him in Paris. 

Every person has a different belief as to what happens after you pass away. I do believe that your soul stays present in the universe, and I also believe that your loved ones become your guardian angels. I am convinced that my dad is here, that we can talk to each other and that he is supporting me and protecting me, the exact same way he did when he was alive. 

Light a candle

That day, I had a consultation with Bruno and I had prepared all of my questions. First some other family members stepped up and I was happy to hear from them but of course, the person I was waiting for was my dad. As soon as Bruno mentioned him I started to cry. It felt as if Bruno was on the phone with him, and he was telling me what my dad was saying, but I could not pick up the phone. It was as amazing as it was frustrating. I left overwhelmed and confused and it took me couple of days to recover from this experience and digest the information I received. After several weeks, I started to call my aunts and my uncle to share some of the information I received and ask what they thought and if they understood. I am not sure that any of them share my beliefs, but everyone answered and felt pretty amazed by the questions I asked and the veracity of the information I heard from Bruno. I didn’t need this visit with Bruno to believe that my dad was there with me, but it helped me to believe that he was happy, that he was warm and that we could continue to communicate.  

It was hard as well because Bruno told me that my dad did not understand what had happened to him, and he was really sad to have left us this way. He was as confused as we were. And Bruno explained that we work in parallel with our loved ones who transitioned: when we had to deal with the funeral, paperwork, house things with my sister, he also had to ‘clean’ on the other side and put things in order. He also told me that it is of course normal to be sad, but if you keep being sad and never move on, you also don’t help them to move on on the other side. At some point, we have to ‘let go’ I guess if we want them to be happy too. 

Before I left Bruno, I asked him what the best way was to continue talking to my dad. He recommended to light a candle so that it would open the channel for us to get together and it would also protect us from the bad vibes that might want to join our conversation. He also mentioned that it would be best would be to speak out loud, no matter where I was. It was and still feels more natural for me to speak with my dad in my head, but I did start to use candles more and more. I would always take one with me to the cemetery when I visited him and I had them at home so that my dad could stop by anytime he wanted. 

I slowly gained some weight back, and I started to feel little more ‘present’ and the willpower to do things again. After this one year of half of what felt like ‘survival’, I felt like I needed a change of scenery. I changed job, I moved to a different country, I wanted to start fresh and open a new chapter. It wasn’t unusual for me because I was already living abroad for the past 10 years and I had worked within different industries, learned new languages, made new friends, etc. I have always considered myself pretty brave and determined. I was never scared to take on new adventures but this time it felt different: it felt as if I had grown superpowers. 

The job I took didn’t work and I wasn’t feeling good. I decided to leave even though I did not have anything waiting for me. Normally I would have never left a job without having another one landed, but somehow, I knew that ‘everything would be alright’. About the exact same time, 1.5 years after my dad passed away, my sister and I started to receive money from my dad every month for a year. It couldn’t be a coincidence! It was literally my dad telling me ‘don’t stay there if you are not happy, don’t worry, I got you’. 

I ended up finding another job very quickly with a perfect set-up but when thinking about this money, I just could not stand the fact that I would use it for groceries or for a loan. I quickly felt the need to use this money for something meaningful and for something that would remind me and others of my dad, like an homage. Bruno had also told me during my consultation that my dad told him that I was doing something with business but also something creative, so he could not figure out what type of job I was doing. I wasn’t surprised to hear that because I always felt like I had creativity that had to come out of me in some shape or form, but I just had not found the right way yet. I know that my dad was trying to help me and pushing me in the right direction. 

Turning darkness into light 

As this whole period was rather dark for us: my grandmother, my dad, Covid, I felt like I wanted to turn it all around. I wanted to turn all this darkness into something luminous and something hopeful. I kept communicating with my dad, using more and more candles and next thing you know, I was buying some wax and scents to do my own. I started to pay attention to different types of wax, different scents, vessels, and without really noticing I was drawing some candles design. Some people write a journal, but it turns out that my outlet was drawing and making candles, imagining how I could let the light back into my life. 

After several weeks of work on my designs, I ended up with a flower. I knew I wanted to create something that shined and blossomed, but I did not think that I would go as literal. What I knew was that I wanted something soothing, calming that would have different lives and could not be thrown away. I also knew that I wanted something composed of 3 elements, that could have a life of their own even after the wax was consumed and that could be assembled into one. Apparently, you need three elements to form the foundation of your spiritual home.

After couple of months of work on this project, I realized that it allowed me to bring colors back into my life, to celebrate my dad, and mostly, to never stop talking about him. 

But in every story, there is a twist, and mine is that when I saw Fioraissance for the first time, coming out of the furnace, it felt ‘right’. There was no need to add wax or scents to make it complete – it was perfect for me, and it was perfect for him. 

However, as I explained during these past 3 chapters, candles are still very important and meaningful to me, so I had to get back on the drawing board and create new pieces: and Karalite was born.